"Glory to the Brave" Glory to the Brave
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01:40am 08/06/2014
  they say sleep is the cousin to death. i cant think of a more apt description.

william cullen bryant's "thanatopsis" suggests we look at dying not as a dread march, but a peaceful surrender.
warm and in our bed.

"So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, which moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."

something about the surrender sleep demands frightened me. its something we must do, something that happens to us whether we want it or not. inevitability.
i have a fear of surrendering, being restrained, being forced. even in simple physical ways. like too many layers, or an itch you cant reach or being wrapped too tight in your covers.

if only death were so kind as to take us in our warm beds, how many lives are ended horrifically and painfully? what can we say to those that died terribly? sorry it was worse for you? a religion teacher once told us that "jesus takes away the pain in that final moment" well that's fucking convenient.

i cant help looking at sleep as surrendering to death every night. will i wake up in the morning? when will be the final time i lay my head down? will i know it? will it matter, does it matter?

why is it the only time i find solace is when i lay with someone? why does it mean so much? because im deprived of it? i feel like i would give anything to have that again. there, i am not afraid of death and would gladly let go. is it a reassurance that i'm not alone? a spiritual zenith i reach when i fill this empty shell?

i think valeria from conan the barbarian reached it as close as i ever will

"Let's take what we have while we live. I have never had so much as now. All my life I've been alone. Many times I've faced my death with no one to know. I would look into the huts and the tents of others in the coldest dark and I would see figures holding each other in the night. And I always passed by. You and I, we have warmth. That's so hard to find in this world. Please. Let someone else pass by in the night. Let us take the world by the throat and make it give us what we desire."

warmth, love - its what we all seek in some form or another. all life, not just humans. its so basic and universal. and in that it is the most powerful force we can encounter. we say love transcends death. to be in love is warmth, physical and spiritual.
its a longing for me, a calling.
thus is the paradox that confuses me to no end. to be warm and loved is to invite a surrender. to be open and ready for death.
 
     
1 Offer their soul to the God of Steel
 
   
11:08pm 09/08/2012
  maybe next time...i should really sleep.  
     
the God of Steel
 
steamfortress victory and some other shit   
08:17pm 17/10/2010
  oh herro prease


been awhile. i think i mentioned before that me drawing shit came to a grinding halt around spring this year when pilot season hit. in short - worked on 2 tv show pilots, sold artwork to another, worked background on the new vince vaughn movie "the dilemma" over the summer, and now am working full time on the one pilot that got picked up from spring "ride - along".

but some cool stuff did happen in the meantime

one is r88's "INSPECTRES" feature - based on the popular indy rpg of the same name. we just finished up a fantastic night of shooting this morning. if you like ghostbusters - you will love this property. been drawing storyboards for this movie which i'll post once its all finished sometime in november, along of course with ADing when i can. which has been exactly one day - yesterday.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1705111/




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and heres a link to the actual game

http://www.memento-mori.com/inspectres/

next up is a r88s/industrial dream mills RPG called steamfortress victory




http://www.sfvictory.com/




which is what all that previous artwork is from. so needless to say ive been learning about legit steampunk to work on this project! for now, a single adventure book called "a day at the fair" is available - but theres plenty more cool stuff on the way. i dont remember if i can talk about it or not so im shutting up now. best part is - theres no fucking vampires! YAY

*Published, Credited and PAID! achievement unlocked*

lastly but not least - the gang musical "livin' it free" is still trudging through bravely every weekend that we can all converge. now im going to boast. everything looks fucking awesome. anyone that has seen the footage plus the animatic has bursted out laughing, even if they dont know the whole story behind it. it is far from your typical gang production in terms of....production. we be using lights and mulitple takes and shit! this is without a doubt the crowning achievement of our lives.

speaking of which we are looking for people to come out and be in our finale/dance scene in several weeks - no super date has been set yet but were looking at nov 7th or any of the following sundays. it will be an awesome fun choreographed dance scene outside in scenic....wherever the hell brian lives. lake zurich? deer park? somewhere around there. im sure food and beer will be served, as well as a healthy handful of sexual harassment and insults!

keep up with the behind the scenes at




http://gangentertainment.org/




but yeah...busy.
 
     
1 Offer their soul to the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - goby's death   
07:47pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - the nightmare   
07:47pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - liz shoots first   
07:45pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - the expo   
07:45pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - the general   
07:44pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - mr. garfield goby   
07:41pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - shadow moon   
07:41pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - william "sawtooth" steinman   
07:41pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steam fortress victory - elisabeth irvine   
07:40pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steamfortress victory - dean beckner   
07:39pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
steamfortress victory - douglas "old hat" jackson   
07:38pm 17/10/2010
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the God of Steel
 
137   
08:21pm 22/05/2010
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1 Offer their soul to the God of Steel
 
136   
09:55pm 11/05/2010
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the God of Steel
 
135   
11:36pm 25/04/2010
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the God of Steel
 
one sentence reviews - left 4 dead 2: the passing   
10:54pm 25/04/2010
  because killing louis would've been racist.  
     
the God of Steel
 
one sentence reviews - final fantasy XIII   
08:28pm 25/04/2010
  so easy leona lewis could play it.  
     
the God of Steel
 
one sentence reviews - uncharted 2: among thieves   
08:27pm 25/04/2010
  RETIS?! RUH-ROH RAGGY!!  
     
the God of Steel